Sandy's ponderings

YEA...Did it!!!

2006-04-13T19:24:00.000-07:00

That's the favorite phrase uttered by my youngest when she successfully does something she thonks the rest of us will be proud of (especially potty use, lol) ...and that is my phrase for the music Roy and I did last Friday night:)

It came off very well. We had several people give wonderful compliments. Sitting at the same table as the emcee for the night meant he was privy to the knowledge that this was my first time to play bass publically, which he shared when he introduced us. Seriously, it was way cool. If the room had been full of younger people I guess I would have to say "it rocked"...but since we were entertaining a room of affluent alumni the closest we got to rocking was the Police's "Every Breath You Take." And best of all...I was not a bit nervous! I admit I made a couple mistakes, but not big deal ones since I was accompanying such an awesome guitar player;)

Gonna learn more blues...work on the singing and playing...and dream about the next opportunity to play!

ok...The music dilemma revisited

2006-03-25T19:43:00.000-08:00

Well, as usual my dear husband has made his point...It is best to keep at it even when you don't know there will be opportunity in the future.

The request came to once again provide music for his colleagues at the recently rescheduled AAEE banquet...and I am invited too, so yep...back at it on the bass:) We had a week before I headed out of town to select and rough practice 3 songs I will join in on. So here I sit trying to continue to build my callouses by *fingering* the edges of tables while on my travel...and we have about one week after I get back to pull it together.

OK, so I learned my *lesson.* And, yes, I REALLY do enjoy rocking out on bass...makes me feel like a "mean momma" ;)

Real

2006-03-25T19:34:00.000-08:00

I had a great week visiting with my friend from Oklahoma a couple weeks ago...and my feeling of love for a local friend struggling with some very serious legal issues continues to keep my heart carrying a burden of hurt...and right now I am off viviting relatives that I have a burden on my heart to spend more time with. All these people know I am real. That when I invite them into my life I have really asked them to allow me in theirs in a REAL way.

I wish I could shake the hurt I am still carrying over my new friendship that was apparently so readily jettisoned recently...did they not know I loved them...that I am 100% real...that I felt safe to speak the truth in love because of that...I thought they understood that. sad.

Not sure what I expected

2006-03-01T09:28:00.000-08:00

Outside the blogosphere...I had sincerely hoped my offer to release a friend would be rejected, or at least accepted as a temporary cure for some challenges the friendship is experiencing. Afterall, this is about a friendship based on Christian love. Unfortunately, my offer was accepted as it stood.

I am sitting here stung by the memories of why for years I rejected the offer of salvation Christ presented to me with because I struggled with the humanity of those who shared the offer on Christ's behalf. I am hurting for those disenfranchised young people who will will seek Christ and turn away disappointed by people (even though that is a wrong reason to turn away.) And selfishly I am discouraged by my own thoughts of feeling I have to decide between friends and being real.

Sweet Jesus give me strength...

I feel affirmed when....

2006-03-01T07:32:00.000-08:00

When someone whose outlook I respect expresses something I already *know* in my heart. As I started today finding that a place I believed I could share challenging thoughts closed to me, I have gone on to seek and process God's purpose and I found Brian McLaren's article http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2005/004/21.136.html in the issue of Leadership Journal from yesterday.

Brian says, "Not everyone is interested in this exploration. But just about everyone would agree it's more substantial than candles and cosmetics."

I have to remember not to push people into exploration if they are not ready. What a fine line to walk when one desires to let God work through them in challenging people.

Sandy

Found and Lost

2006-03-01T07:07:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess I have more time to write here in my blog for the forseeable future. I have NO idea what God intends...I feel like Joseph at the moment. I can hear the Veggie Tales character Larry saying in the Little Joe video: "what you intended for bad, God intended for good!"

I realize that what has occured to free up my time is not a direct attack on me in the same vein as the story of Joseph, but I want to keep the assessment Joseph made in my sight as I move forward...seeking God's purpose for changes that seem disappointing.

Wanted: More friends I can love and serves who will let me be who God made me to be without judging my motives.

More writing...

2006-02-23T11:55:00.000-08:00

Yesterday a couple hours after I wrote the poem, I had a sudden and overwhelming feeling I was suppose to write an article about the church and our culture. What follows is that Article...

**********************
A Modern Parallel?
by Sandy McCann

Today as I listened to, felt and appreciated the power of my GM V-8 engine I was overcome with a feeling of sadness for the diminishing state of the American icon, General Motors. I do not claim to be an expert about such events in the business world but I am moved by the sinking feeling of loss and the responses bordering on desperation flowing out of South East Michigan and into other areas with automotive ties.

As I thought of this I became suddenly aware that much of what is going on in the world of the North American automotive industry is a hyper speed version of what has been happening over the last few decades as the established denominational churches in North America navigate the same cultural changes.

Watching the increasing focus on survival in both the corporate and UAW camps and the apparent lack of willingness to do a real world assessment of the culture and reconcile to work together is bringing great discomfort. Both sides rely on chosen leaders who want the best for those they lead. Both sides want the company to succeed and they think they have the answer. However the global market of 2006 will never be anything like the past dominance of the American brands so a new paradigm is needed to allow the automotive business to emerge.

Reflecting on the desire to avoid change seen in these challenges in the automotive industry, one can understand how painful it is for the organized church in North America to accept changes, live the new paradigm, to emerge from the past, a past to be proud of.

The way local congregations/churches have traditionally cared for their membership could be compared to the unions of the automotive industry. Protected and gathered into community with like minded people, life was good. A look at the drop in union membership over the last 15 years or so should be the taken as a symptom of the cultural shifts, a shifting that leaves many people sadly neglected and estranged from what they had put their hope in.

As leaders strive to keep things the same (often in well meaning pursuit of God’s direction) amongst the local bodies of believers throughout America that we call church, they are potentially neglecting people who have hearts to be part of God’s purpose. Those people perhaps do not yet carry the “union card” of faith in God, but there also are a great number who have just been “idled” and need to be recalled to the work the Master designed for them.

My personal passion for these “idled workers” was stirred when my two oldest children we “laid off” by a youth group that only desired to assist those who already knew their place on the team. I am trusting God that my now grown kids still have their cards tucked away and that God will help them find them at the right time so that they might rejoin the team.

In a world filled with broken homes, drugs, violence, and so many other hurts it seems that having questions about God should be considered the norm. It does not seem to take too much imagination to think that churches should seek those with questions and lead them to the One with all the answers. Jesus welcomed questions. His answers were often posed as questions back to those who asked. It appears that Jesus led people to seek God for His answer to them personally. Jesus gave colorful answers even though those of His culture living under the law might have felt they wanted black and white. Color is designed by God, and should be embraced.

First, speaking for myself and probably many others of the boomer generation, it’s hard to not want the relative safety of the past we grew up with. Not to deny the flaws in the old ways, but it’s hard for some of us to shake off our wish that North America could return to a time of cultural Christianity, where people loved and believed in God because those that led them loved and believed in God. This world God designed is about change; how we approach it needs to reflect God. In the past, we bought American cars because we believed in American engineering and American workers. I still do, but I recognize not everyone around me does. Churches like the unions of the past were the right thing for the culture of our past. Are they the right thing for now? Change is hard.

change

2006-02-23T06:42:00.000-08:00

Well, after Roy set up a blog last night I was "inspired" to change my template. Green is my fav color...but the one I had was TOO green, lol.

Now I need to re-set up the links and stuff.

But I feel good about the change...this one is more *me*...

Sandy

Incognito

2006-02-22T11:15:00.000-08:00

Recently I have been struggling with how God has made me to be. My human heart has been aching to be what the world defines as popular, fun, cool, etc. I have felt hopeless about EVER fitting in...so much so that I had begun to question whether God even intends us to "fit in."

About an hour ago, I felt the Spirit stirring me to sit and put words down. I believe the results tell the story of where God wants us to "fit in" (as well as where we might be misguidedly focusing our efforts.)

Tell me what you think...

Sandy
***********

Incognito: Standing in Shadow, Walking in Light
by Sandy McCann

I am old, I am young
Living rich, painfully poor
Man, woman, child
Seeking, searching, wanting something real
Standing in the shadows
Knowing there is pure warmth and light
In an unexpected way
From Him…I find light and love.

The shadows were not always so chilling
Their tell tale shapes
Outlining the hope
Of warmth, life, and love within
But now they are only cold shadows
Not understood by many
A symbol no longer
Of Him…I find light and love.

Walking past the shadows of the building
Church, temple, cathedral
My pulse begins to quicken
As my feet move me
Into the unknown
First falling, then soaring
Borne by the winds of new direction
By Him…I find light and love.

I gather strength from the multitude
Who worship around me
Without reserve
Abandoning thoughts
Worshipping freely, releasing the soul
In awe of the One
Worthy of our praise
To Him…I find light and love.

Offering His embrace to the lost
With eyes and hearts
Wide open, seeking them
Loving, hoping, sharing burdens
Side by side
Building not destructing
Brothers and sisters
In Him…I find light and love.

Sharing vistas with the scoffers
Listening, learning
Seeking to understand
With eyes always upturned
Meeting on common ground
Never condemning
Finding there is truth in the love
He sent for us
Through Him…I find light and love.

renewal and reflection

2006-02-19T21:14:00.000-08:00

It snowed...we weren't able to make it to church...and once I knew we could not go (and got over a feeling of guilt by watching cars sliding off the road on our hill), I relaxed and had a better weekend than I have had for a long time...does that say anything??

Actually I am still so unsure of what to do about it all. I *want* our girls to have every chance to meet friends who will help them grow closer to God, but at what expense?

Friday I finished reading Lynne Hybel's book "Nice Girls Don't Change the World." Much of her experience is NOT mine because I did not grow up in church like she did, but I do understand her sense of things not feeling right. I have sensed for some time that God wants me to do something really BIG, but I am so easily discouraged by the words of those (usually those who don't know ME well) who feel they have insight into what God *might* want me to do. It most often centers around the fact that I am a homeschooling mom of 6 kids and how I should know God gave me that ministry field first. Like Lynne H. I know that there are seasons and I do not desire to short my family. However, I also know that God speaking to my heart is just that, MY heart, and no one else can hear. I have some significant people in my life who affirm the message I am hearing...and so I march on.

My greatest battlefield if anyone wants to pray for me is my ongoing lack of ability to enter into true worship in the corporate setting. I am feeling weak to be honest. Roy and I sat and did some worship music together last night...once I warmed up (in spirit) it was awesome! Sadly though I still miss the worship we were doing last year at church...in that setting I felt I could soar up and feel the warmth of the smile of God on me.

A dry spell?

2006-02-05T18:11:00.000-08:00

It's been far too long since I posted here, but I have been a regular poster on other people's blogs and the message boards I belong to, so no, I am not in a dry spell. I guess partly I am feeling I am not sure the best place to share my thoughts. On the message boards I feel like I can sometimes help people...at least through encouragement.

I guess I feel way to selfish posting stuff here "just because"...

I do need to decide how to spend my time. With the Emergent Friends message board I am administering, another blog for the emergent conversation in NW Arkansas I just set up (hopefully soon to become an Emergent Village Cohort group), and my acts-vision.org site that needs to be completed...well, I need to decide.

A friend encouraged me to figure out how this vision I am carrying plays out. Well, that's a bit hard. I really think I share the same direction as Reggie McNeal shares in his book, The Present Future: " ...to help leaders who are practitioners in many different settings sort through the implications of an emerging world in terms of how we are church." My personal effort diverges a bit from what he said before that, "...because of my life calling..." since I believe God is calling me to do the same thing as Reggie but from the eyes of a sheep in the flock. Unfortunately, so far l have had almost no leaders accept that the Holy Spirit might actually work through a plain everyday mom like me. Does not the Bible have many stories of those who appeared to be not very "qualified" carrying forth the Kingdom message? I would be lying to say it does not occasionally at least hurt my human heart, but God calls me on to persevere.

Another friend (and very nice person) shared this weekend that her family has been attending the same church (and faithfully serving MOST weeks) for OVER 15 years and they still feel like they are not connected. It is for people like that, that I believe God calls me to keep on keeping on!

Sandy

why do I even wonder?

2006-01-21T10:12:00.000-08:00

OK, I am starting to question ordering clothes and stuff from the more "upscale" online merchants even though my reasons are *pure* (I am often short on time to go shopping and I want quality that last through 3 hand-me-downs, LOL!)

Yesterday I got an offer in the mail for a new parenting magazine. The header states, "It's nothing but the best for your little one, and you'll find it in (publication name) - the new magazine created for the world's most sophisticated parents." and the first sentence of the "Dear Parent" letter says, "You enjoy the best in life for yourself, and you want the same for your children."

UGH!

But why do I have a latent pull toward *wanting* to go there?

Feeling better, thinking it through...

2006-01-16T06:11:00.000-08:00

Well, my post last night was very real, but after I spent some time pondering what was really bothering me, I found more questions at the heart of it for which I am not sure I know the answer...God's answer at least.

Does it matter how we serve God? Can we do something outside our gifts and talents and still authentically pass the message to others about striving to be who God made us to be? Is it ok to do "whatever" as long as we do it with enthusiasm? What role do leaders (this applies inside and outside the church I believe) have in helping people say "no" (or "later") to things which the leader observes the person is apparently not gifted/skilled/trained to do? I was very excited by the way Andy Stanley worked through it in his book, "The Next Generation Leader". He expressed the idea that to be able to serve God the way God gifted him to do, he needed to find the 20% of all his tasks that most aligned with his gifts and talents and spend 80% of his time on them. Andy also referenced to John Maxwell's thesis that to lead a person, you must be "ahead" of them on the leadership learning curve in order to facilitate helping someone grow in their area of calling. How should this be handled in the local church when *most* people are meaning good, and serving for at least one apprpriate reason (such as stated in studies like Network: 1. The right person, 2. The right place, 3. the right reason)?

My thoughts? I believe these "details" matter to God and we potentially compromise our autheticity when we don't first look to God and say "Is this what you have made me to do? Is this the place/time you want me to do it? And finally, is my heart totally in tune with you God?

Do we all step outside these steps? I believe so. Have I done it? Yes. Is this a conflict with our communion with God? maybe.

What do you think?

I can't do it.

2006-01-15T19:45:00.000-08:00

And I am feeling frustrated. It's the music thing again. No matter how hard I try it feels like I have had my heart shut down. Roy is being patient, had his guitar out most of the day, got out the music book when the girls were heading to bed...was asking me to just do one song. But, I can't and I feel awful. Saturday nights (going to church) take all my joy away. Roy wonders why I go at all. I do it for the girls. There is nothing wrong with what they are being taught, and they get to have friends, but Roy was asking me to tell him 3 things that are right, and all I can do is say what's not wrong. I am so disappointed. When we moved here I thought I had found a church that was just like what I had imagined one could be...at one point I thought I was on a path God planned for ministry for me...but now I feel only cold. When was the last time I felt myself freed to worship at church...or even through song...I keep trying...really...so long I can't remember:( cold.

Even more important than today's "thrills"

2006-01-15T12:43:00.000-08:00

I thank God for His movement in providing not only some new friends to break bread and fellowship with, but ones who are of the same heart for the emerging church. May God use our friendship to not only support one another, but also sharpen one another.

Singing His praises today.

Second thrill of my day

2006-01-15T12:32:00.000-08:00

The second thrill I had today was that after sending out an e-mail to local church and ministry leaders whose information I had been able to find through the phone book and newspaper (felt like a blind date sending it, LOL), I got a response back right away from a campus ministry leader who said, "I'm in, let me know when." I am very excited, but also fighting the fear of actually being successful. Would everyone please pray with me for God to get all the glory. That whatever comes of this He would use me as His instrument that His will would be done.

The first thrill of my day!

2006-01-15T12:23:00.000-08:00

Well, I was working on a contact list for the emergent discussion group I am starting and while visiting one local church's site I came upon news I had missed (you all probably already knew)...Chris Tomlin is gonna be in Fayetteville with his Indescribable tour. Got to work out the logistics for babysitting still, but Roy said, "buy tickets." I did, so we are GOING!! Yea!!

I went poking around again to revisit how close my most favorite group Casting Crowns was gonna be and I see in May they will be in Ft Smith. I couldn't do the Tulsa thing...but, hummm, maybe seeing them in May could be a birthday gift to myself;)

Sandy

Sideswiped!

2006-01-10T20:15:00.000-08:00

That's how I feel tonight. No, I was not in a car wreck, just a crash of words. I am trying SO hard to explain myself with this vision/passion/calling for sharing in ways that encourage the north american church to revisit the original mission of the church.

Today I had an e-mail discussion with a friend who is a leader...a friend who I thought knew me and believed in me. However, he used words to question my whole calling. I am thinking he maybe is like so many leaders I have spoken with before and does not hear what I am really saying...perhaps (as my husband believes) people are not really open to the possibility that God might use me...a simple stay at home mom to do something challenging...difficult in His name. I talked at length with a friend about some of the statements that were made and she believes he *must* have misunderstood me.

I admit it...God made me odd. I have tried to be all that He calls me to be...even though it would be nice to just skip it all. A friend at our church in Michigan once counseled me when I was at a similar place (feeling like being a "Jonah" would be better)..."it's pretty slimy in the belly of that fish" Maybe I will continue to not go there.

A Repeating Theme

2006-01-08T18:07:00.000-08:00

OK...guess I need to put this thought into words. All these things that I *see* are the very things that Roy has been telling me I need to write down.

Well, a number of years ago Roy and I felt some tension in our marriage...the usual type (I think)...the type that comes of discovering the deeper and deeper truths of merging two lives. As with many, there was outside pressures intruding, but what it did was to wash the covering off a reality. There was something we had *ignored* about how we did life together. Something we left on the back burner for years and year (about 15 of them!) It really is not such a big deal now what it was even all about because it is the LESSON that we gained out of it, one that has become a theme in the vision that the Holy Spirit has laid with me.

What we learned I will say straight up is not a unique thing that I wisely thought up. In fact we actually found it originally as we spent sometime in The 5 Love Languages book. The reality that in relational situations no matter how well intended we are, if the other person does not understand our intent, we will fail in communicating our message to them.

I feel this truth very strongly when working with kids, a true burden I feel especially when leading other people's kids (since I may not have enough time with them to easily know their *language*.) I pray God will give me the words and the wisdom I need.

Almost more overwhelming when I think about this, is the HUGE burden I feel to communuicate this truth to leaders in churches. The biggest difficulty to overcome I have found is when leaders are basically doing it "right" but because they are only speaking in the language THEY know and it is only reaching those who come around them who "happen" to speak the same language. Sometimes those who speak a *dialect* of the leaders *language* are influenced and much excitement ensues as these folks learn. I believe *language* is sometimes a barrier when I hope to talk with these leaders. They see who I appear to be and hear only the *language* they expect.

I find this a great discouragement. My discouragement comes not from my personal disappointment, but from the fact that I suspect that these leaders and churches (who I have great respect for) really WANT to speak these other *languages* but they really have not yet realized so many were needing them to translate.

I am hoping some of my friends who are leaders will chime in and share some thoughts.

I DO think too much!

2006-01-08T16:28:00.000-08:00

Ok...Ness pointed out a truth (my skeleton in the closet, lol.) Actually the thinking too much Ness mentioned I take as a compliment! It's some of the other thinking that I sometimes do too much I am not real comfortable with...

Sometimes I think about stuff like "why couldn't God have made me a *normal* person" In my heart I know I don't really mean it, but sometimes I *wish* I could be more selfish. Today as I headed into the bathroom I looked at the shower and felt SO tired of remembering how I have the re-grout job waiting for me. I am tired of looking at plastic sheeting duct taped over the tiles. I felt this discouragement (satan?) that I feel compelled to give money to do things like help get laptops for Asian missionaries rather than spend money on stuff for me/us.

Now, before anyone calls me a whiner, I do not feel we are deprived...not in the least...and I do not mind working hard (anyone who knws me knows I am not a slacker!) In fact, if I could do one thing to change this whole thought process, I would help others to think the same. I think then I would feel less wierd.

The New Books I Am Reading

2006-01-07T09:51:00.000-08:00

Well, since I have some cool new friends who like to read and comment on the kind of books I like I guess I will share what I started into last night.

Actually, I got several new books for my shelf back in early December when I was online ordering Adventures in Odyessy stuff for our girls for Christmas. Then as my spirits were sagging lower than ever after some interactions with church leaders, I just sat the books (except for Brian McLaren's, More Ready Than You Realize) on the shelf and walked away from them...till now.

Besides the Brian McLaren one, the books I got are: Church After Christendom by Stuart Murray, No Perfect People Allowed by John Burke, Missional Church: A Vision For The Sending of The Church in North America by Darrell L. Guder, and Shaped By God's Heart: The Passion and Practices of Missional Churches by Milfred Minatrea.

Last night I started mostly into the John Burke one. By the title I was not sure if I was going to like it...I thought perhaps it was more about creating the style for *attracting* the culture (without the guts to flesh it out), but within the first 20-some pages I found out that John is a man after my own heart! He poses the question, "How do we become the kinds of attractive Christ-followers who draw spiritual seakers into the family of God like Jesus did?"

Later he reminds us that the model was set when God: "...dove right into the sewer of life Himself in the body of Jesus." Saying we (believers) must be, "Christ's body re-presented" he challenges: "This must be the first priority for leadership in the church in a post-Christian world: making the invisable body visable."

I think Burke got me most with the following statement as he was looking at the way Paul did things vs. how modern north American churches are: " Those of us currently leading in churches need to prayerfully consider this: Are re raising up a generation of leaders ready to lay down their comfortable lives to dive into the muck of cultural America? Or are we just playing church--developing spiritual dependants who consume the goods off whichever church shelf will "feed me," or "puff me up with more knowledge," or even "feel postmodern"? A few lines down he states: " No longer can we idly sit by, bemoaning change and wishing to turn the clock back to nostalgic days gone by."

*sighs* Do any of you feel as I do? Sadly knowing this is the truth, wishing the answer was easier? Once not long ago I asked Roy to "proof read" an e-mail where I was sharing these type sentiments with a church leader we are connected to and as he agreed with my thoughts, Roy shared his thoughts..."too hard."

Thanks Jesus for sending me friends and giving me the opportunity to talak about these things with people seeking you heart as I am.

My Music Dilemma

2006-01-06T14:26:00.000-08:00

Well, I like to sing...I really do. And I am intrigued by my experiences so far playing bass with Roy...but I am still so unsure how to balance the place of doing music in my life. When Roy and I were being the lead worshippers for the 4th-5th graders at church...it felt so right. I cannot begin to say how much more in tune (pun intended) I felt with my worship of God through song.

There are actually two parts to my dilemma....First, Roy is SO good (of course he started playing guitar before 1970) so I will NEVER catch up to him. Since he revved up his bass playing to do worship team in MI and played two services weekly for the better part of two years, he is very good on bass too and I am awful self-consious trying to learn around him (my issue NOT anything he does.) Secondly, my life is pretty full so there are choices I must make. I am struggling in the decision to put working on music in the mix (even though it makes me feel good) because I do not see the purpose. When we were leaders, or like when we were asked to do Christmas music for a party last year...those were purposes I can understand. Roy's take is that if we keep doing it just for the enjoyment, then we would be ready if an opportunity came up to do something. I see his logic...but how do I get out of my funk? Ah ha....fire up the karaoke...Freddy Mercury anyone???

My Website is up!

2006-01-05T21:14:00.000-08:00

OK...it's simple...and I found a couple mistakes AFTER I put it up (of course), but not too bad for my first site I think. What do you think?? Go check it out... http://www.acts-vision.org

Photobucket

2006-01-05T16:30:00.000-08:00

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

Sandy's ponderings

2006-01-05T15:33:00.000-08:00

The Haiku writing Unicyclist

We stopped at the local coffeehouse/bakery today and ran into a friend of our 18 year old. He had a nifty Haiku he had written about his mom's moon flowers posted on a board near the counter. He began telling me about his Christmas gift, a unicycle.

Why, you ask? Because he knows I ride a unicycle...I learned after I got it for Christmas in 1973! Did you know that?

Sandy's ponderings

2006-01-05T08:28:00.000-08:00

Sandy's ponderings

Cat and mouse.

Well, unlike a new friend who is doing battle with a REAL mouse, my cat and mouse is the battle of trying to sleep. I know there are others who are having even worse troubles than me with this issue and to them I send hugs and prayers. For my ponderings here I am just desiring to reflect on how much effect on my life poor sleep can have (a lot I suspect.)

Last night's cat and mouse started off by going to bed too late once again (after midnight) with the feeling I did not get done stuff I wanted to. Then the next cat and mouse event was a little "mouse" coming to climb in bed with me. Now this little mouse is really a petite 2 1/2 year old, but since she insists on sleeping sideways with her feet in my face, lol...well, kind of becomes a problem for good sleep! Then add to this list the usual conflicts of a trip to the bathroom, the puppy rattling her crate, and some who knows what else noises that waken me. Oh, and then the dreams...on nights like these I also have "busy" dreams. Dreams where I am running here and there doing this and that wierd stuff...exhausting.

The good news? Roy and I are slipping away to lunch today together (thanks mom and dad for babysitting) before the semester starts and he is teaching every day during lunch time. He has also planned we make a trip to Blue Moon Music to take his vintage Gibson in for a bit more refurbishing. I know he's got his heart set on getting a bass amp too. He wants to get me inspired to get back to playing with him...but that's another post.

Pondering my first post...

2006-01-04T18:35:00.000-08:00

Sandy's ponderings

Well, I guess I can't put this off any longer...I am gonna start a blog. I think if I asked for input, all you wise experienced bloggers would tell me that regular posting is the best idea even if it is not a profound, lengthy post...am I right?

This week is flying by too fast, but yes I am getting a bunch done. Lesson planning for the rest of the homeschool year is almost done, all the indoor christmas decos are packed up and toted downstairs, the house got a pretty good once over cleaning (thanks Shannon!) Of course, my BIGGEST goal is to get my first website up (using a simple sitebuliding tool *blushing*.) With any luck I may actually get it finished tonight. I am SO excited to have gotten a couple cool domain names and hope you all will visit often.

Mostly, just when I felt my spirits sagging, I have a renewed enthusiasm...I have met some new friends who love what I love...the emergent church conversation. Perhaps my greatest prayer has been answered and I will soon be in community with people who don't think I am crazy.