A Repeating Theme
OK...guess I need to put this thought into words. All these things that I *see* are the very things that Roy has been telling me I need to write down.
Well, a number of years ago Roy and I felt some tension in our marriage...the usual type (I think)...the type that comes of discovering the deeper and deeper truths of merging two lives. As with many, there was outside pressures intruding, but what it did was to wash the covering off a reality. There was something we had *ignored* about how we did life together. Something we left on the back burner for years and year (about 15 of them!) It really is not such a big deal now what it was even all about because it is the LESSON that we gained out of it, one that has become a theme in the vision that the Holy Spirit has laid with me.
What we learned I will say straight up is not a unique thing that I wisely thought up. In fact we actually found it originally as we spent sometime in The 5 Love Languages book. The reality that in relational situations no matter how well intended we are, if the other person does not understand our intent, we will fail in communicating our message to them.
I feel this truth very strongly when working with kids, a true burden I feel especially when leading other people's kids (since I may not have enough time with them to easily know their *language*.) I pray God will give me the words and the wisdom I need.
Almost more overwhelming when I think about this, is the HUGE burden I feel to communuicate this truth to leaders in churches. The biggest difficulty to overcome I have found is when leaders are basically doing it "right" but because they are only speaking in the language THEY know and it is only reaching those who come around them who "happen" to speak the same language. Sometimes those who speak a *dialect* of the leaders *language* are influenced and much excitement ensues as these folks learn. I believe *language* is sometimes a barrier when I hope to talk with these leaders. They see who I appear to be and hear only the *language* they expect.
I find this a great discouragement. My discouragement comes not from my personal disappointment, but from the fact that I suspect that these leaders and churches (who I have great respect for) really WANT to speak these other *languages* but they really have not yet realized so many were needing them to translate.
I am hoping some of my friends who are leaders will chime in and share some thoughts.
posted by Sandy Mc @ 6:07 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
HOw bout this. youth pastors wife told me..she had been talking to WAYYY older, old school ==ORGAN player lady. (yah ORGAN). (who also thinks its a SHAME that everyone does'nt' wear DRESSES and SUITS to church)
This tonight told to me after singing EVERY dang verse of some old hymn...thats been stomped to the ground and you CAN"T EVEN help but to SING by ROTE!
Organist: WELL if THAT"S the kind of MUSIc Young people are listening to today..NO WONDER they dont like our hymns!!
YPstrs wife: YES EXACTLY!!
What I re learned tonight. Church IS about SOcial "themes'. There is a REASON "young people " dont "GET" church..it simply is not done in any way shape or fashion to ANYTHING that have have a context to put it in to.
Do you follow me?
D.
I'd like to *follow you* all the way to NWA! Wish you could come here and *do church* with me:)
"I will dance, I will sing..to be MAD for MY KING...nothing Lord is hindering this PASSION in my soul!"
EVERYONE should know THAT!
(and for the record I generally like Hymns...and organs)
you talkin' to me?
I'm uploading pics for work while I respond here : )
Having been in "official" leadership positions, I'll say this...it's stressful when you have a particular path picked out as the direction you need to go (the best among the very good) and you are trying to get everyone on board, and some people just don't get it and want to do a hundred other things. Somebody has to be the leader which logically means somebody has to be following. The leaders spend an enormous amount of time preparing for ministry, doing ministry, thinking about ministry and prepping (day to day) for ministry. On the other hand, they are only human and don't have some kind of special direct line to God. Best case scenario is to give people freedom to do what they believe God wants them to do in ministry & the church. It's not always possible, though, depending on time restraints, money restraints, etc. When and where and how people talk to you makes a difference too. Sometimes you are just not in a place to "receive" anything from anybody. Some ideas are so grass roots, they cannot be propelled unless someone in a high position also "owns" that idea and systemically cares that it happens. And they can't care that deeply if they are already tapped out by other responsibilities, dreams, goals, plans, budget considerations, etc etc. To sum up, people's wild hairs can be exhausting....if indeed they are wild hairs, and leaders are sometimes too tired to know if they are based on the way the information comes to them.
This is a completely free rant that will cost you nothing : ) (ie. I don't know if applies to you at all)
It will be interesting to sit down and talk through what you are envisioning for church life that you feel is absent right now. I'm not sure I totally understand from reading your stuff what that is, but then again, that might be because I'm trying to take it in while simultaneously keeping kids from bouncing off the walls, making supper, uploading pics for ebay and drinking a cup of coffee!
and D....I followed that exactly...to the very names!
I know Ness, you are trying very hard to understand and I thank you:) I am a rather complex person.
Still not sure I can explain it in a small number of words.
In the case of this post, I was trying to speak about how I am feeling I don't see simple "modeling" working at the churches I attend.
I sense many people trying to follow the leader's model are either following for the wrong reason, or getting the whole thing wrong because of the way they (the "follower") process things. I have a couple examples I can share with you in person I am not going to post about.
So, my frustration is not so much with what might be missing from "church life" but with how often people seem to miss out of a potential life changing experience because they are trying to "copy" the same way they see a leader do whatever, they fail at it (because it was not God's way for THEM), and give up.
that totally makes sense. Is that north american laziness do you think? Or just everybody trying to be all one thing when God loves variety.
i love complexity. i think too much, remember : )
Well, I may need to ask your forgiveness for this statement... but though in some cases it may be laziness, I really think it's different than that for many, I think it is a leadership issue. It is my perception that there are people who would do more for Christ if they caught the excitement...by having leadership (formal and informal) who recognize that particular person's gifts and talents as well as where they are in the process of understanding them so that the person can grow as God intends. Leaders who I continue to remind you I love, are excited...they exude excitement much of the time, but then some seem rather stumped when that is like not enough to get others excited in the *same* way they are.
I am offering my thought that many of those people are more ready than they realize (thanks B McL for letting me borrow your line) and just need a leader to help them.
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