ok...The music dilemma revisited

Well, as usual my dear husband has made his point...It is best to keep at it even when you don't know there will be opportunity in the future.

The request came to once again provide music for his colleagues at the recently rescheduled AAEE banquet...and I am invited too, so yep...back at it on the bass:) We had a week before I headed out of town to select and rough practice 3 songs I will join in on. So here I sit trying to continue to build my callouses by *fingering* the edges of tables while on my travel...and we have about one week after I get back to pull it together.

OK, so I learned my *lesson.* And, yes, I REALLY do enjoy rocking out on bass...makes me feel like a "mean momma" ;)

Real

I had a great week visiting with my friend from Oklahoma a couple weeks ago...and my feeling of love for a local friend struggling with some very serious legal issues continues to keep my heart carrying a burden of hurt...and right now I am off viviting relatives that I have a burden on my heart to spend more time with. All these people know I am real. That when I invite them into my life I have really asked them to allow me in theirs in a REAL way.

I wish I could shake the hurt I am still carrying over my new friendship that was apparently so readily jettisoned recently...did they not know I loved them...that I am 100% real...that I felt safe to speak the truth in love because of that...I thought they understood that. sad.

Not sure what I expected

Outside the blogosphere...I had sincerely hoped my offer to release a friend would be rejected, or at least accepted as a temporary cure for some challenges the friendship is experiencing. Afterall, this is about a friendship based on Christian love. Unfortunately, my offer was accepted as it stood.

I am sitting here stung by the memories of why for years I rejected the offer of salvation Christ presented to me with because I struggled with the humanity of those who shared the offer on Christ's behalf. I am hurting for those disenfranchised young people who will will seek Christ and turn away disappointed by people (even though that is a wrong reason to turn away.) And selfishly I am discouraged by my own thoughts of feeling I have to decide between friends and being real.

Sweet Jesus give me strength...

I feel affirmed when....

When someone whose outlook I respect expresses something I already *know* in my heart. As I started today finding that a place I believed I could share challenging thoughts closed to me, I have gone on to seek and process God's purpose and I found Brian McLaren's article http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2005/004/21.136.html in the issue of Leadership Journal from yesterday.

Brian says, "Not everyone is interested in this exploration. But just about everyone would agree it's more substantial than candles and cosmetics."

I have to remember not to push people into exploration if they are not ready. What a fine line to walk when one desires to let God work through them in challenging people.

Sandy

Found and Lost

Well, I guess I have more time to write here in my blog for the forseeable future. I have NO idea what God intends...I feel like Joseph at the moment. I can hear the Veggie Tales character Larry saying in the Little Joe video: "what you intended for bad, God intended for good!"

I realize that what has occured to free up my time is not a direct attack on me in the same vein as the story of Joseph, but I want to keep the assessment Joseph made in my sight as I move forward...seeking God's purpose for changes that seem disappointing.

Wanted: More friends I can love and serves who will let me be who God made me to be without judging my motives.